Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
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