i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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