you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
