garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
