idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize