the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
you would pick up someone in the library
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
