he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
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