all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Randomize
