Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
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I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
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He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
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