ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
