Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
My vagina is officially offended.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
