There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Randomize
