so that wasnt chicken after all
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Randomize