I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
