We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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