So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
she was so not down for the gang bang
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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