I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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