i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
He passed out mid-signature
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
