it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Sorry about my life...
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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