I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
