I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
You ate ashes out of my bong
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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