Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Randomize
