it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
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