Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
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