Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
