One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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