Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(337): View more from Louisiana

Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency

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(337): Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency http://tfl.nu/1j5p

Replies (10) Good night (872) Bad night (928)
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(314): View more from Missouri

Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.

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(314): Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot. http://tfl.nu/bk2l

Replies (8) Good night (1317) Bad night (476)
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(607): View more from New York

I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.

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(607): I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo. http://tfl.nu/qxrp

Replies (8) Good night (757) Bad night (3970)
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(630): View more from Illinois

wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?

(816): View more from Missouri

yes. helicopter.

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(630): wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back? (816): yes. helicopter. http://tfl.nu/re1i

Replies (19) Good night (5559) Bad night (928)
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(443): View more from Maryland

her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"

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(443): her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does" http://tfl.nu/16y8

Replies (16) Good night (1890) Bad night (6657)
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(443): View more from Maryland

she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.

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(443): she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help. http://tfl.nu/37hn

Replies (3) Good night (2217) Bad night (1012)
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(661): View more from California

i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean

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(661): i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean http://tfl.nu/gpjf

Replies (14) Good night (4047) Bad night (907)
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(704): View more from North Carolina

Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.

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(704): Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday. http://tfl.nu/1b1a

Replies (2) Good night (1098) Bad night (817)
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(602): View more from Arizona

As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.

(208): View more from Idaho

I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.

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(602): As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by. (208): I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby. http://tfl.nu/looi

Replies (7) Good night (1642) Bad night (692)
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(330): View more from Ohio

It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.

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(330): It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop. http://tfl.nu/5ysk

Replies (11) Good night (644) Bad night (1521)
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(817): View more from Texas

I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?

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(817): I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes? http://tfl.nu/cea8

Replies (15) Good night (2822) Bad night (466)
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(940): View more from Texas

I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.

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(940): I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him. http://tfl.nu/9uqa

Replies (15) Good night (2062) Bad night (759)
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(406): View more from Montana

Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving

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(406): Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving http://tfl.nu/p7rm

Replies (18) Good night (2083) Bad night (434)
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(757): View more from Virginia

I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.

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(757): I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away. http://tfl.nu/b7dn

Replies (4) Good night (740) Bad night (711)
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(304): View more from West Virginia

Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??

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(304): Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun?? http://tfl.nu/lwzi

Replies (3) Good night (796) Bad night (390)

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