Texts From Last Night

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  (847): View more from Illinois

  is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?

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  (847): is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder? http://tfl.nu/zxu8
  Replies (105) Good night (1601) Bad night (1766) Order T-Shirt
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess

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  (704): oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess http://tfl.nu/vowo
  Replies (3) Good night (588) Bad night (1503) Order T-Shirt
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad

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  (570): Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad http://tfl.nu/w1l4
  Replies (47) Good night (1195) Bad night (20247) Order T-Shirt
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.

  (1-734): View more from Michigan

  Shittttttt.

  (734): View more from Michigan

  Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.

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  (734): I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy. (1-734): Shittttttt. (734): Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy. http://tfl.nu/htfb
  Replies (33) Good night (9683) Bad night (653)
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  (518): View more from New York

  I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.

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  (518): I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room. http://tfl.nu/qe4u
  Replies (22) Good night (6512) Bad night (859) Order T-Shirt
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.

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  (803): It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work. http://tfl.nu/kzvl
  Replies (26) Good night (4112) Bad night (1157) Order T-Shirt
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.

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  (608): Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again. http://tfl.nu/9jrz
  Replies (18) Good night (7227) Bad night (1012) Order T-Shirt
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  (64): View more from New Zealand

  Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...

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  (64): Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon... http://tfl.nu/s0w2
  Replies (13) Good night (2415) Bad night (713) Order T-Shirt
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick

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  (215): did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick http://tfl.nu/zk1d
  Replies (5) Good night (899) Bad night (2172) Order T-Shirt
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  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love

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  (774): Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love http://tfl.nu/hnbw
  Replies (6) Good night (1738) Bad night (444) Order T-Shirt
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.

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  (770): Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days. http://tfl.nu/lo7p
  Replies (4) Good night (301) Bad night (1099) Order T-Shirt
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  (530): View more from California

  for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...

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  (530): for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates... http://tfl.nu/xo9l
  Replies (3) Good night (1085) Bad night (340) Order T-Shirt
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  (801): View more from Utah

  Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?

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  (801): Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way? http://tfl.nu/h6qu
  Replies (4) Good night (894) Bad night (245) Order T-Shirt
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?

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  (503): Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I? http://tfl.nu/fev7
  Replies (5) Good night (308) Bad night (699) Order T-Shirt
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.

  (410): View more from Maryland

  By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!

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  (410): Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey. (410): By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey! http://tfl.nu/tmhf
  Replies (15) Good night (2226) Bad night (618)

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