Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (618): View more from Illinois

  Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes

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  (618): Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes http://tfl.nu/lxst
  Replies (12) Good night (566) Bad night (4000)
• Favorite

  (770): View more from Georgia

  He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...

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  (770): He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose... http://tfl.nu/mrqu
  Replies (5) Good night (913) Bad night (4066)
• Favorite

  (650): View more from California

  how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?

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  (650): how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths? http://tfl.nu/djnw
  Replies (15) Good night (5983) Bad night (900)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.

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  (303): She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it. http://tfl.nu/nwdc
  Replies (6) Good night (2911) Bad night (934)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose

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  (412): Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose http://tfl.nu/1rcv
  Replies (9) Good night (3185) Bad night (785)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume

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  (703): Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume http://tfl.nu/akez
  Replies (9) Good night (2460) Bad night (786)
• Favorite

  (+61): View more from Australia

  I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.

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  (+61): I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane. http://tfl.nu/dlou
  Replies (21) Good night (3885) Bad night (617)
• Favorite

  (601): View more from Mississippi

  I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.

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  (601): I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked. http://tfl.nu/gydy
  Replies (7) Good night (1655) Bad night (548)
• Favorite

  (+27): View more from South Africa

  My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.

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  (+27): My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like. http://tfl.nu/slfh
  Replies (3) Good night (416) Bad night (1184)
• Favorite

  (704): View more from North Carolina

  Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.

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  (704): Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention. http://tfl.nu/qqdz
  Replies (17) Good night (1736) Bad night (598)
• Favorite

  (253): View more from Washington

  You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.

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  (253): You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded. http://tfl.nu/x9oy
  Replies (2) Good night (968) Bad night (514)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.

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  (+44): Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10. http://tfl.nu/gv39
  Replies (4) Good night (936) Bad night (378)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven

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  (+44): The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven http://tfl.nu/nqqz
  Replies (11) Good night (939) Bad night (535)
• Favorite

  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.

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  (774): In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely. http://tfl.nu/mh8s
  Replies (7) Good night (899) Bad night (396)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going

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  (847): well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going http://tfl.nu/vq9c
  Replies (2) Good night (297) Bad night (627)

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