Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(334): View more from Alabama

I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is

(1-334): View more from Alabama

I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P

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(941): View more from Florida

you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?

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(904): View more from Florida

if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back

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(425): View more from Washington

Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me

(1-425): View more from Washington

Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.

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21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
Read it at the TFLN blog
(940): View more from Texas

You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole

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(251): View more from Alabama

Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.

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(641): View more from Iowa

Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.

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(218): View more from Minnesota

Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.

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