It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
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