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is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
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