he puts the penis in happiness.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize