her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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