We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
