also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Floor bacon is actually really good
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
