do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
false alarm. still invincible.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
