these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
