He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Randomize
