those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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