Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
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You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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