my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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