My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
