I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
