I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
