he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
