Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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