i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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