he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
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