He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
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All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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