he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Randomize
