Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
my being single is dangerous.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Randomize
