Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
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