I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
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