So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
