oh god the rape fog is back!
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
