You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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