There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
We got so high we made milksteak
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
