her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Randomize
