he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Randomize