Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
