They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
