Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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